I hope mine doesn't look like that
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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