Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
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