I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
I have post one night stand depression
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