Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
