I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
