and you said cock pushups were impossible
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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