Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Randomize
