So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
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