Too much gin, very little bucket
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
