Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Randomize
