yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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