yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Bring me that man meat
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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