google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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