she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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