I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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