Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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