Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
