Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Oh god it's open bar.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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