I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize