I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
