I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
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