I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Actions speak louder than pants.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
don't judge my taste in strippers
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