I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
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