my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
