I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
