It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
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