u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
