The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Randomize