I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
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