garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
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