sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
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I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
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I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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