guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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