Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
