i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
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