Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
