i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
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