I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I need to calm my uterus...
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
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