we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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