Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
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