we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
