we have pet lesbian snakes
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize