How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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