goodnight i made you a song goodbye
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
