he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Randomize
