Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
