Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Randomize
