Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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