she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize
