God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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