I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
