are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
