St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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