I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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