My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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