We need to rekindle our bromance
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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