i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
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