you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Randomize
